Afraid of Being or Afraid of Feeling?
Perfectionism isn’t a fear of being imperfect. It’s the fear of feeling imperfect.
The fear of being can make it hard to do anything. It can make us afraid to take chances, try new things, and live our lives to the fullest. We can be so afraid of failing or being turned down that we don't even try. We bury our hopes and dreams because we don't want to be let down. But should people really live this way? Is it really better to fear being than to take a chance on feeling?
It can be just as crippling to be afraid of feeling. It can make us less open and honest with other people. We might be afraid of being judged or rejected. We might be afraid of the feelings that come with taking risks or of getting too close to someone and then having them walk away. Again, do you really want to live like this? Is it really better not to feel than to take a chance on being?
Even though the answer might not be easy, it is important to think about it. Even though both the fear of being and the fear of feeling can be strong, it is important to remember that we are all human and that we all feel fear. But that doesn't mean we have to let it make us who we are or tell us how to live.
Instead, we should do our best to face our fears head-on. Even if we might fail, we should take chances and try new things. We should be brave enough to let people in, even if it means we might get hurt. We should have the courage to be who we are, even if that means being judged or turned down. We should have the courage to feel, even if it scares us or makes us feel bad.
The truth is that life is full of both being and feeling, and we can't be afraid of either. We have to be brave enough to take risks and be open to failing and getting hurt. We have to have the courage to be and to feel.
Perfectionism isn’t a fear of being imperfect. It’s the fear of feeling imperfect.
- Nick Wignall
What a lovely note. He aptly captured what it means to be perfect. I've read that note so many times that it's practically etched into my journal.
Here are some of his other notes :
”perfectionism is less about your relationship with work/productivity and much more about your relationship with your emotions.”
“people often feel imperfect (e.g. anxious) because of their perceptions/appraisals of what other people might be thinking of them.”
Khe Hy added, “What holds perfectionists back isn't the precision of creating something incredible. It's the fear of messing up and the accompanying rejection.”
I wrote a poem.
Running to you.
Running to you, I feel a thrill,
a joy that I just can't conceal.
I can't wait to be in your arms,
Your embrace that I long to feel.
My heart races with anticipation,
My soul is full of glee.
You bring warmth and comfort,
that I never want to feel more.
Your calls light up my days ,
Your laughter fills the air.
You make me feel so alive,
Your presence is so fair.
My feelings for you can't be wrong.
I want more of this, every day, for long.
End.
Lovely Poem!